We are having......

We are having TWINS!!!!  What a wonderful experience.  It still doesn't even seem real to me.  Dr. S was not there he was on vacation so Dr. Burwinkle did my ultrasound.  He was the one who did my final scan before retrieval.  One pregnancy sac popped up right away.  I was worried because I have had a sac before with nothing in it.  I asked right away is there a baby in it.  He chuckled and said yes.  Then he continued to look around my and all of a sudden he found another sac.  Then he said no maybe that is the first one.  A little more manipulating and he said oh no there are two sacs.  The second one is just hiding up against the side wall.  I was happy but wanted to see heartbeats and then I would be able to breath.  Baby A was front and center baring everything to see easily.  He saw a heartbeat right away.  I never knew a little white blob moving back and fourth could bring such joy.  Next to try and find Baby B's heartbeat.  Baby B was not as proud to show HIS stuff.  Yes baby B was being the trouble maker so he will definitely be the boy I joked with Dr. B.  Finally Dr. B was able to see it.  Tears of pure joy ran down may face and the first thing I did was thank God out loud.  Then Dr. B said lets see if we can hear their heartbeats.  Using the doppler I was able to hear both heartbeats.  Baby B's was not as strong but he is the smaller of the two.Which is totally normal.    It is amazing Baby A only measures 5 mm and to be able to see and hear heartbeats is just an amazing thing.  They are soo small.  Of course I have ultrasound pics I will try and post them.  I tried to post pics of embryos but the camera wouldn't pick up the tiny pic.  I'll try though.

Sigh of relief for the moment but where do we go from here?  Miscarriage is obviously a huge fear for me.  Dr. B said I can relax now my chance of miscarriage is 5%.  There is a condition called a vanishing twin.  This happens in about 10% of pregnancies.  One of the babies heart stops beating and my body would just absorb the baby.  I would not bleed and the only way we would be able to detect it is on ultrasound.  Dr. B said both babies look great though and he has no concerns.  My due date is Nov 6th.  Yesterday I was officially 6weeks 5 days pregnant.  It really hasn't even sunk in that these babies are really mine and I am really going to be a Mom!!!

False alarm

I think Tuesdays episode was a touch of the flu.  Everyone at work ended up with the flu later in the week and patients were dropping like flies due to sickness.  I actually have been feeling pretty good which of course I don't like.  If I was feeling sick I would feel better but my nurse says it is still early and I should be thankful for these good days and symptoms come and go this early.  I haven't been as tired but I am sleeping at least 10 hours a night.  I still go to the bathroom quiet a bit.  My boobs aren't as sore.  I think your body gets a little used to the symptoms after so long   I have been doing a little research and morning sickness doesn't usually start until week 6.  I will be 6 weeks sometime next week.  We will get the specifics at the ultrasound appointment next Thursday which you can imagine seems like FOREVER away.  I am not going to lie I thought about sneaking in to see my OB.  I at least could see if they are developing properly and put my mind at ease a little bit but I figured I should wait.  Dr. S wanted us to do ultrasound there he hasn't steered us wrong yet.

Every time I have negative thoughts I tell myself that it is Satan talking and trying to ruin God's good will.  That seems to take the negative thoughts away pretty quickly.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't have faith and the power of prayer.  The amazing thing is all along this journey I have had so many people say they will pray for us.  God must be up there shaking his head going alright already I get it.  So to my prayer team keep up the good work I need you all to keep me strong.  I keep remembering the footprints prayer where the person asks God why when I was in need of you most were there only one set of footprints.  God replies that is when I carried you.  So I pray for God to carry me over the next few days while my strength is getting weak.

Who flipped the switch

I am definitely starting to feel changes.  Up until now I have had little spats where I felt tired and a little sick but nothing like yesterday.  I was driving to work having my coffee and whamo I started to gag.  I thought what am I going to do I was driving on road with the speed limit of 55.  I pulled over and just as quickly as it came it went away.  When I got to work I ate some pretzels and felt a little better.  I had this on and off feeling all day long.  I came home at dinner and went straight to bed.  I slept for 12 hours.  Last week on Wed I called my nurse because I wasn't feeling pregnant.  She suggested with my history that we run one more beta just for my piece of mind.  They are so understanding and caring they never make you feel like you are bothering them or crazy like you feel everyday.  It came back at 3851 it more than doubled again.  She said to me they would be shocked if they didn't see a heartbeat with numbers that strong so that has put my mind at ease.  She also said I should be thankful for these days when I do feel good because not feeling good days are coming.  Boy was she right!  We continue to wait 1 week 1 day until we will see the babies heartbeats.  See that's positive thinking.    

Another 2ww

Sunday I went to church and was so excited to share my news with pastor Dan.  The congregation at Lakeland church has been praying for Travis and I and I couldn't wait to tell him the good news as well as ask him to keep the prayer chain going.  We are not out of the woods yet by any means.  I am have been very tired so I came home and took a nap after church. I have to say I am not getting much done around the house.  I really don't care.  My body needs rest and that is what it's gonna get.

Off for the second blood draw.  They lab opens at 7 am and you can bet your bottom dollar I was there at 7.  the sooner I go the sooner I get the results.  Surprisingly I had a calm about me as I walked through the doors.  Although I worry I still have a good feeling about this pregnancy.  I hope I am right!  I called 2hours later to get my results.  My beta was 1602.  I had hear repeat it.  That was awful high.  We were suppose to double every two days.  Granted it was three days but still it should have only been around 1000.  I think I don't know for sure.  I have a panic attack and think OMG what if one of them split and we have triplets.  I texted Katie for a little counseling.  She quickly assured me probably twins but no triplets.  I'll have to wait for the nurse to call.

The nurse finally called later that afternoon and told me that my beta was strong but doesn't necessarily mean twins we won't know that until ultrasound.  Which she scheduled for Mar 22nd.  Another 2 it's our good luck number.  She also told me I could cut my progesterone down to only twice a day.  I told her I was really nervous about this.  Why go changing things everything is working lets not rock the boat.  She assured me it would be fine.

Of course I called back today and spoke with another nurse just to make sure that cutting my progesterone was gonna be ok.  I asked her if people with normal HCG sometimes don't see a heartbeat.  She said it does happen but my beta was strong and I should think good thoughts.  It seems like another eternity before Mar 22nd.  I am trying to remain positive.  God is still in control and guiding us.  We have never had a beta double so this is positive.  We will stay with that thought for now.

Happy Birthday to me

Yesterday was my birthday and I awoke at 5 am with of course the urgency to pee like I hadn't gone in 3 days when it really had been only 6 hours never the less my bladder was full and calling.  So was the pregnancy test I had bought the day before.  I laid there debating weather or not to take the test.  Travis did not want me to take a HPT.  It just makes you crazy and your levels aren't high enough to give you a positive yet just wait. My response," I am tired of waiting and what if it's positive we will know that much sooner."  This discussion took place last Sunday.  I never said I wasn't going to test.  I debated for a long time if it was negative I would have a crummy bday if it was positive what a great story to be able to tell our child/children.  Well you guessed the HPT won out in the debate.  I peed on the stick again.  As I replaced the cap it started to look like it was negative but a faint positive was coming across.  I went out of the bathroom and into my bedroom waited a couple seconds and went back into the bathroom.  It was positive faint but positive.  I figured I would be lucky to even get a faint positive. I tried to call Travis and his phone was off.  I couldn't contain myself I had to tell someone.  I wanted to call my mom but she works night and would have only gotten 5 hours of sleep at this point and I probably shouldn't wake her.  Then I decided she would want to awaken to news like this.  I called her sleepy voice answered.  I told her the news we both cried I was still in shock!!  Hung up tried to call Travis again still no luck.  So I laid back down in bed I had to work at 8 in the morning and then go the restaurant that night so I needed to get some sleep.  The wheels were spinning out of control.  I wanted to get a blood beta to confirm that I really was pregnant and actually get a level.  I was going to go in between jobs but then I remembered the lab opened at 7.  I could get there have a blood draw and be at work by 8.  Got dressed and off I went.  Finally Travis called at 6:15.  I told him our good news.
At this point I am crying because it is starting to set in WE ARE PREGNANT!!  He of course approaches it with the same apprehension as I do.  We have been pregnant 4 times before and unsuccessful so it is really hard to get excited.

I had my blood draw and then off to work waiting waiting for the results.  This waiting game sucks no matter what you feel like you are always waiting for something!  I had the results faxed to my office and my mom went to get them.  She texted me your HCG is 351.7 is that good.  My jaw dropped.  That is a a high beta for 9 days post transfer.  I texted her back well from what I know it should be between 50 and 100 at this point.  I don't know maybe twins.  We did put two embryos in and Dr. S is the miracle man.  My nurse from Ohio called and left me a message confirming that I was pregnant with a very strong beta.  She also confirmed it should be about 100 at this point.   I had some many questions I had to call her back.  I am so wondering what Dr. S is thinking at this point.  I wish I could talk to him.  I know he is over the moon for us.  He did his part now it is up to my body and God to do the rest.

I spoke with the nurse she said we will repeat my Beta on Monday to make sure it doubles.  Of course this is scary because every time I have a repeat beta it never doubles and we know the pregnancy is not viable.  I am staying positive and hoping for the best.  After that she said we would schedule an ultrasound to hopefully hear the babies heartbeat. I asked her if there was something in my blood that made her say hopefully and she said no it's just always a possibility that we can't hear the heartbeat.   March 19th I would be six weeks along God willing.  There is a possibility that the heartbeat would not be strong enough to hear at that point.  I think we have decided to wait until the following week just to make sure.  I wouldn't be able to handle it if there was any doubt.  Plus that would mean another drive back to Cinci.  She said we could get a scan here.  NO WAY.  I have had nothing but good news from Cinci and I am not changing a thing now.

As for how I am feeling.  I am getting a good 8- 9 hours of sleep a night but can't stay up past 9o'clock.  My eyes burn I am so tired.  A little bit more hungry than usual nothing to extreme though.  The nurse said I could go back to working out spin body pump the whole 9 yards but that makes me to nervous.  I have decided to give it another week and see how I feel about it then.  Please keep prayers coming we are not out of the woods yet.  God is obviously listening to all of us and remember he is good!